Monday, September 21

What a day! We found out that Kenny would indeed have to have surgery. His duodenum was not functioning and would have to be removed. We didn't know if more of his small intestine would need to be removed. The doctor said he'd make that determination when he got in there. The kids and I rushed up to the hospital after a dentist appointment I had but we didn't make it before they took him down to the surgical floor. I asked if there was any way I could still see him and they broke a few rules to allow me to go down and be with him and mom. Mom captured this special moment between him and I. I wrote the following on Instagram. I was in the moment at that time so I will share exactly what I wrote:
 This is an extremely personal moment I shared with my baby brother right before they took him to surgery. I have a similar picture like this with my sister before her life-altering surgery. As I told him "I'll see you on the other side", I fully meant the other side of surgery. But the pain of facing the other side of the veil instead did come into my mind and for the first time throughout this whole ordeal, I was truly scared that these would be the last words I would say to my brother on Earth. I am so thankful that I still have him here tonight. I'm also humbled at how precious life is and how much I value each of my siblings. I am feeling so blessed that Kenny is still with us and has another chance. 
 

Tuesday, September 22

Still so thankful the surgery went well, our family went to visit Kenny. The doctor didn't have to remove nearly as much of the intestine as they had feared but he still isn't digesting well at all. They are still pumping his stomach and just waiting for things to start flowing. He is in excruciating pain and it is kind of difficult to be there with him watching him go through all of this. He LOVES seeing the kids and has told us that they are the reason he survived. 

Wednesday, September 23

Kendra's school called today saying that I needed to come get her because she threw up in the hall. I was in West Valley with Grandma Howard so Erin (again) came to my rescue, picked her up, and took her home. She even gave her a popsicle and Sprite to make her feel better - so sweet! Her breathing was really bad and she's just miserable. Poor girl!

 

Thursday, September 24

Simon called during the day today and said that he got free tickets from the Sandy Chamber for the circus. I already had plans with the girls from the ward to go to The Chocolate to celebrate Jenny Nyholm's birthday. Simon took Nick, Kendra, and Zack to the circus and Ricki went to Dave & Viv's. It was a very fun evening for all of us...we just weren't together. :)

Friday, September 25

Simon's last day at the Sandy Branch. *Tear* He really loved his branch and all of his co-workers but with the recent problems he's had, it was time for a change. Notice that everyone wore black in honor of his last day. Goodbye Sandy Branch!

Saturday, September 26

Nick is getting old enough that we feel like we can leave him for just a bit to go on a date. We had a quick dinner at Panda Express then ran over to Cold Stone for some yummy ice cream. Date night is my favorite night of the week!!!

Sunday, September 27

We had the privileged of watching the primary program today. My parents and Simon's parents both came and joined us. The kids did a wonderful job and I was a proud mama as they all recited their lines without having to be prompted. Good job kiddos!

Monday, September 14
The nightmare continues. Kenny was moved to ICU after they pumped 5 liters of fluid from his stomach. The fluid retention is happening because his pancreas is over-producing and there seems to be some sort of blockage preventing his bowel system to work. He is miserable. Thirsty, hungry, tired, and in pain. They are thinking about surgery, a PICC line for nutrition, and a tracheal J-tube. He is so unstable right now. It's just awful!

Tuesday, September 15

Kenny is finally feeling a little better. In fact, feeling so much better that he thought he could go "home" (he's homeless) to recover. He pulled the tube out of his nose, the IV out of his arm, and the leads off of his chest. It only took about 30 minutes in the waiting room for him to realize he wasn't okay and that he needed to stay. He was re-admitted right back to intensive care. I don't think he knows how sick he really is. His condition is life-threatening. He needs to stay right where he is!

Wednesday, September 16

My dear friends gave me a much-needed refuge from everything that is going on. The littles and I went to Jenny Nyholm's house and made caramel apples. It was so much fun and I thoroughly enjoyed the time I had to visit with the girls.

Thursday, September 17

I look forward to and LOVE my Thursday mornings. While Zack is in school and I only have Ricki, I go to Nick's class and do "Math 36" with the kids individually. It is so much fun and I have truly enjoyed being at the school more.

Friday, September 18

Happy 25th birthday Kenny! I am so happy you made it to 25! :) The kids finally got to go up and see him. Unfortunately, he was in a lot of pain because his NG tube got plugged up so his stomach filled up with fluid. They drained another 3 liters out while I was there! He loved the picture we gave him of all 8 nieces and nephews and the minion card we gave him and all signed. The bottom picture is just of Ricki's cute hairdo today. I love doing baby girlie hair!

Saturday, September 19

Zack had his very first soccer game this morning at 9:00 am. It was so cute! Bite-size soccer is my absolute fave! He did a great job getting in there and kicking the ball. Afterward, we went to the library (in the same parking lot) and got new books. It was a fun morning with my four favorite little people.

Sunday, September 20

Our dear sweet Ryan sent this picture to Viv requesting it for dinner. He didn't realize that a true blue traditional English meal was definitely something Viv wanted to make! This is what we had for dinner and it was very yummy! My kids loved it which Simon rubbed in. "They are 100% English"! (Oh, except for they are American!) Haha

Monday, September 7

The many (sometimes grumpy) faces of sweet Baby Ricki!

 

Tuesday, September 8

For the next few weeks, I am going to go get Eva from preschool and take her to daycare. This was her first day and she was so sweet. Our babies are growing up!

 

Wednesday, September 9

I was feeling ambitious tonight and did my toenails. My fingernails are currently white tips with a mint green accent line so I decided to do something that matched on my toes. I like how they turned out. :)

Thursday, September 10

Girl's night out! We planned to meet together before Melanie has her baby. She's scheduled to be induced on October 6 if baby Hallie doesn't come sooner. We thought Zuppas was in order. Candace brought her BFF Farrah with her so we were lucky enough to get to meet her. I needed a girl's night with everything going on. Kenny is not doing well and FINALLY went back to the Phoenix for rehab tonight around 12:30 am. I'm glad he's finally getting help again.

Friday, September 11

So many things happened today. First of all, 9/11 is always a sacred day set apart by the horrific happenings just 14 years ago. I still remember it like it was yesterday so I thought a lot about it today. Second, the gals and I went to the South Towne Expo Center to pick up our race packets. I think this is the first time it got "real" for me! Third, Kenny. The first collage is of Kenny a few months ago and during his 8 months sober between rehab and relapse. How gorgeous is my brother?!? The second set, however, is him on Thursday night (9/10). He's lost approximately 70 lbs and looks like walking death. I am just so glad he's getting help! I don't think his frail little 100 or so pound body could have taken much more.

Saturday, September 12

Race Day! Callie picked all of us up starting at 4:00 this morning. We got to Ft. Union, parked, finally got on an old school bus, and rode to the top of the race route at The Spruces Campground up Big Cottonwood Canyon. By the time we stood in line for porta potties, tied shoes, and ditched our warm clothes in our drop bags, it was time to run. It went fast! I tried to stay with at least one person from our group the whole time. I felt really pretty good about the race until we hit mile 10. I was exhausted, sore, hot, and ready to be done. My body was starting to let me know how it felt about all this running and I started feeling faint and nauseous. I think I maybe should have fueled a little more throughout the race. Anyway, Callie and Jacy stuck with me and walked a mile by my side. They were amazing!! I saw my family on the side and that gave me a burst of energy to finish. I came in at 2 hours 18 minutes. My sweet mother burst into tears when I crossed the finish line. I got teary too and had to ask why we were crying. She said that it was just nice to see me reach a goal that I set so long ago in light of everything they're going through with Kenny. It really was an amazing experience to set a goal I never thought was possible and achieve it...even if I did have to walk a little. 

Around 4:30 in the afternoon, I got one of the worst calls I have ever gotten. It was my dad on the other end of the line telling me that my brother was in the hospital. They suspected organ failure because his blood pressure and heart rate were so low. He was being admitted to St. Mark's Hospital and we needed to be together as a family to go visit him in case this was our last goodbye. I hadn't eaten any real food other than energy beans and 3 chicken nuggets from McDonald's since 5:00 am but I suddenly lost any appetite I had at that moment. We quickly called Dave & Viv to come over with the kids and got in the car to head to my parents. I had wet hair and no makeup as I had just gotten out of the shower. We gathered together (Mom, Dad, Muffett's, & McCullough's), said a family prayer on our knees in a circle on my parent's floor, and headed out. Oh, I can't describe the awful scene that awaited us at the hospital. I will never in my life be able to sear the memory of my brother lying there, miserable, thrashing around from pain, and moaning from my mind. His body was detoxing from the horrible substances he's so thoughtlessly introduced to it over the past month or so. He had just barely been diagnosed with pancreatitis, which is excruciatingly painful and usually onset by drug/alcohol use. He can't be given enough pain meds to make the pain subside because his body has built too much tolerance to such drugs and they no longer have an affect on him. Imagine your worst nightmare. That was this experience. I have been on the extreme ends of my mental spectrum today. Joy for having completed my goal, accomplished such a hard thing, and built friendships that are irreplaceable in the process to horrible misery, grief, and pain over the near-loss of my only brother. No wonder I need running. I have to deal with all of this somehow.

 

Sunday, September 13

Happy Grandparent's Day!

I am so thankful for all of the grandparents in my life. My own grandparents helped raise me and shape me as a child. I have so many fond memories of all four of my grandparents. I also remember very well Grandma Muffett and Grandma Lind (my great-grandmas). I am eternally thankful for my kids' grandparents. These four individuals are helping shape my kids' lives and helping them become who they will be. Both sets of our parents would drop anything to be there for us (case-in-point, Dave & Viv dropping everything to be with the kids while we went to the hospital). They are amazing and so loving and I could not be more grateful to have them in our lives. I also want to give a special shout-out to my parents who are holding things together so well in the face of all that is going on. My mom with her unending compassion and love and dad with his endurance and stability in this hard situation make it easier for the rest of us to get through it. I hope and pray for them and am so sorry for what they are experiencing. I just can't imagine what I would do if this were one of my children but they are handling it amazingly! 

I love you parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents! You mean the world to me!

Monday, August 31

We had our carpets cleaned and wanted to stay off of them as much as we could so we dragged the poor children to RCWilley to look at couches. We promised them if they were good we would get some ice cream. Family fun times!

 

Tuesday, September1

My sister's cute family had family pictures. Aren't they so cute? And happy birthday Big Jake Sandwich! He's 9 tomorrow!

 

Wednesday, September 2

My mom posted this to her Facebook timeline and I liked it a lot! I totally agree with taking charge of your own life and fighting for what you want. I hope that Kenny can figure this life out...while he still has the chance.

 

 Thursday, September 3

MY IPAD WAS FOUND!!!! Smith's Marketplace on 9000 South Redwood Road called Simon today and said that with the help of Apple, they reset the iPad to factory settings to get the serial number off of it. My genius husband thought to put an alert out on it that if found, to call him. He called me first thing this morning and said that they had it there for me. Interestingly, I haven't been to that Smith's in probably a year or more! I'm not 100% sure how it got there but I have my theories. No matter what, I am SO thankful that my prayer has been answered and that I have my old friend back!

Friday, September 4

I went on a 6-mile run with my running pals this morning and check out what happened. Awesome! One week until race day and I get to deal with wicked awesome blisters/missing skin! I hope this doesn't affect my run.

 

Saturday, September 5

Since camping season is almost over, we thought it was time to take the kids for a little trip. We came up to Tanners Flat in just enough time to sit in the truck for a half an hour waiting out a downpour. We did finally get all set up then the McCullough's joined us shortly after. We had dinner in the great outdoors and a fire until we couldn't stand the cold any longer.

 

Sunday, September 6

My parents met up with us this morning but I failed to get a picture of them. We enjoyed the day together. There was lots of laughter and playing around. We had a blast camping! I never wanted it to end...other than the cold nights!